God whats your plan for me? What is your will for ME? "For I know the plans I have for YOU..." Wow...right? when we think about how we are created..how I was created... and God has a will for us..for me. This last month I have to admit that I kind of got in a bit of a down state. I have these desires in my heart...and although they are not bad, I have been having to struggle with the fact that maybe altho not bad, maybe they aren't what God has for me. And so my prayer has been to have God give me strength to overcome these. To pray...and be sincere in my prayer that I would put God's will above what my own personal desires are. And I am not the best at letting God have his way...its scary. I have to admit that I do have trust issues there. But why? Why do I lack the trust in God to have his perfect will for me. I guess because I am scared that He is going to say "no" to me? That I am scared that I will not get what I want...altho lets face it God's will is ultimately better...but nope...I still get scared and kick against it. So its emotional to go thru these times of saying, Okay God! I trust ya!

And ya know what. He never fails. I went thru my week of being sad about what God would ultimately tell me. But that isn't really giving him your will is it...if you go around and sulk about it...so I decided to just be happy about whatever God decided. And He brought these verses to me...

I Corinthians 7:17. 

 "But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk...Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become circumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called...Brethren, let every man , wherein he is called, therein abide with God."

And no I am not no scholar on the Bible...and maybe this is supposed to be for a different context since it is in with all the marriage stuff and church stuff...but I also think that God's Word is not limited and can speak to us at anytime. Here I was thinking about these desires in my heart that are good desires and comparing my life to what others have concerning God's will for their life.... so maybe, altho what I desire is in and of itself something "good",  it isn't what God has planned for me... Its hard, esp when you know that what you desire is not something that is wrong...but if I don't put God's will forefront, it is...no matter how good it is. "But God...its a good thing?" "yes..but its not MY will...for you" 

And so...maybe one day God will say, "okay!"...but until then, and if never that happens, than I have to remind myself...probably over and over again just cause I am like that....that God loves me and has a special purpose just for me! And look at how many blessings upon blessings He has for me...and here I was sulking! :/ Great is thy faithfulness O God to me.