So its been kind of a hard week for me. Samuel was taken to heaven 5 years ago tonight. I miss him and think of him everyday, but when Christmas comes around I am reminded of how we will never help him celebrate his birthdays, or fill his stocking. So I did cry about every day for a few minutes. But you know...God is good. I can't help but see the beautiful boys that he has surrounded me with. He pours out blessings that we can't even measure. I never got to build some of the wonderful memories with him that I have with Avan, Oliver, and Caleb. Those eleven days that he was with us are very "hard" memories. One of the hardest that I pray I will ever have to endure. God allowed us to meet that litlte guy and to hold him as he went home. One of the most special memories I have is when we said goodbye to him. I felt the presence of angels in that room. And during the ups and downs of getting thru those days, God was never closer than then. I still and always will love him. He has a place in our hearts that will always be. So with remembering him I also cannot help but be reminded of the faithfulness of God and His promise to comfort. When we can't feel ourselves, we are able to feel God. With remembering Samuel, I also am reminded of how fragile life is. I am so thankful every day when I see our other 3 blessings smiling, happy, healthy, and here...to cherish them.