When God says no: Psalm 139

MY MIRACLE BABY

Samuel Nissim Port
Born too soon (but just on time)
Birthday December 12, 2006
First Day in Heaven-December 23, 2006

Samuel had such a hard time, right from the start. At 7 weeks there was bleeding, which we believe was the result of a blood clot that formed and pushed against the placenta. It was such a scary time that first bleed. We checked it out at the hospital, were told that nothing could be done. Except WAIT. It seemed that he was still with me (what a fighter), and it was not discovered that there was really something wrong until a few ultrasounds were performed. They kept track of his weight, blood activity...the usuals, and noticed that he was not gaining the weight like he really should be. I was sent to the specialists at the hospital where there better equipment showed a clearer picture. He was not gaining the weight. They discovered the reason why. And I and others prayed deperately that God would increase his weight. He would gain some...but he was losing ground. Sometimes it would seem that he was doing good because he gained a certain amount, but he was really only half of what he should be. They told me he should weigh...this amount in grams (like I know how much that amount in grams is). I saw a specialist who advised me to call all the family in so that we could all talk together concering this little guy. At first we opted to home and wait and see (talk about tense). He said that there was really no hope for survival at 24 weeks, especially at his weight. I was sent to the hospital after the ultrasound to be re-examined because of a 'reverse-flow' of the blood (which is what the dr's were hoping wouldn't happen...they said that once that happened, they only had a limited time to get the baby out). It ended up that it wasn't reverse-flow...but that one of the veins had 'no-flow'...which usually ended up becoming 'reverse-flow'. We prayed that it would turn-around. The next ultrasound that was performed was followed by an emergency c-section because the 'ifs' became reality.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Psalm 139

I was reading this psalm the other night, and have always read it with my children in mind. But this night as I was reading the psalm...it "hit" me all of a sudden how much God loves me. I read it again actually envisioning how God was not only the creator of my children, but also the protector of me when I was being created. How he put his loving, and protecting hands around me because I have a purpose. Each and every one of us has a purpose in this life--whether we are here for only the shortest moment or here for a "lifetime". Either way we will have an impact on those that surround us. Some will be with us for a while...some for a short while--but may we learn to treasure each moment we have--we never know just how quick a life can be gone. Some of the lessons that my little Samuel has taught me in his little time he was with us will be the greatest ones that I will ever have learned. Always remember that you are a treasure to God. He is your creator and he loves you.

"...For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mothers womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand; when I am awake, I am still with thee..."